following my dreams

Death’s First Kiss wasn’t my first foray into writing stories, but it is the first time where I put enough down on paper (uh, digitally) to consider it a complete story. And it all started with my daughter telling me to ‘Follow your dreams’ one night, in my kitchen, when I was spouting nonsense about writing my own anime-esque story.

I’ve enjoyed anime (Japanese animation) as far as I can remember being exposed, but a few years ago I really got into with via Crunchyroll and Funimation. Then one night in 2017, I was waxing poetic about what I enjoyed and found annoying about some of my favorite shows, and I said that I should write my own (which I said would be better than some of the shows I’d watched). And my daugfhte’s response was to follow my dreams.

This is kind of a catch phrase for them (my daughter prefers they / them pronouns), and they say it as both a joke, and with sincerity. They really do want people to follow their dreams. Whether that be getting a new job to escape your current misery, or pushing your boundaries to try something you’ve wanted to do but have been too afraid, or to indulge in a scoop of ice cream when the craving strikes. If you really want it, go for it!

Most of the time I’d chuckle as the light-heartedness of their comments and move on (though I’d almost always go for that ice cream). But that night their statement really resonated within me. I’ve always wanted to write a book before and I decided to try and write that anime story I had said I could write.

And so my journey began… The basic premise being that the Greek Gods were very real, but living in secret among us and a main protagonist that gets caught up in their world when he falls in love with one of them. With a few keys twists being that a) the main character was NOT a hero, but would be heroic in his own way, b) I would take a lot of liberties with the Greek lore source material, and c) the main love interest would be Thanatos, the Greek God of Death because I thought that had a lot of drama potential.

I had planned to write it similarly to Japanese light novels which have less formal writing criteria, are generally shorter in length, and have multiple volumes to tell a long running story. Plus with insert art, which I knew I wanted to have from the beginning. I also intended it to be a heavily comedic, harem-like story, where the main protagonist has multiple love interests chasing after them, even if they only reciprocate the love of one person.

I wrote down a bunch of notes, came up with a ton of silly scenarios, and with no outline or clear vision of the whole story, began writing. I quickly discovered that I didn’t know how to write the story in a shorter format than the more traditional western English novels I’ve read my whole life, and that I struggled between a ridiculous comedy, and the more down-to-earth drama that dating a Grim Reaper inferred.

So I chose to write what came most naturally, toned down the comedy, went for a more traditional novel format, and eventually ditched the harem idea as it made the motivations and actions of several characters untenable. There’s something morally questionable about a girl openly chasing after a boy who is clearly in an emotionally committed relationship. It made several characters and situations unlikeable, and I eventually discarded the idea as a core concept. Instead, focusing on Evan’s emotional journey, which is where the real meat of the story is any way.